he looks like a really good dad on facebook
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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