That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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