Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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