Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
