I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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