Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
