I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
