I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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