I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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