my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
