i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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