She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
false alarm. still invincible.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
