my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
