What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
