it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she looked like the before picture.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
