I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
