I cockslap morals
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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