I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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