He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
