Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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