Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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