so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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