"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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