How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
well you can't waste a boner
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
