i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
