I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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