I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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