I just made out with a guy for $7.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
