Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
