You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Welp...herpes.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
