I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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