1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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