who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
