Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
A+ Viking dick
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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