Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So many bounce houses so little time
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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