Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
