I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
