508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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