we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
