Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
