2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
did i just pee glitter
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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