Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
