so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
