You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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