I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
What a dumb baby whore.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize