Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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