WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm having to shit out rocks
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
