Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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