Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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