Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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