all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There are leaves in my underwear?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
