another moral hangover. fuck.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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