we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
