Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
