yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
