remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
