like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
