Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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