Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
