About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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