Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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