I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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