i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
