I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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