Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
