I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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