you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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