Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
