I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
