dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
