I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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