I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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