Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize