you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
